The Struggle Feasts Of Thanksgiving
First of all, I would like to wish all my loyal readers a Happy Thanksgiving. I’m thankful and blessed to see Thanksgiving 2014 roll around and I pray I see many more. 2014 has been a hectic and crazy year, yet it’s always a great time when you can get away with family and relax. Nothing relaxes your soul more than a laughs with family and friends and home cooked food. That brings us to the Thanksgiving meal. For generations this meal has been prepared to perfection and cherished by families’ country wide. The joy and blissfulness that transpires when families get together to savor one of the best feasts of the year is indescribable. Whether it was grandma Nez starting the night before on her mouth-watering greens or mama Kat laying the groundwork for her exquisite macaroni and cheese, it was guaranteed that you left the dinner table stuffed and a few pounds heavier in my house hold. Those were the days I will never forget growing up and those are the reasons I still look forward to going home for the holidays. Yet times have changed in our society. A new generation has blossomed, which means the Thanksgiving dinner has changed as well, or better yet…evolved. There were certain foods that were considered staples at the dinner table during my childhood. Most of these dishes are still being served at dinner tables across the U.S., yet the preparation and end result has drastically changed. The “Struggle Plate” was born! Let me explain……….
Thanksgiving would not be Thanksgiving without the main course, and by main course I’m referring to the “Turkey”. Turkey is usually the crowning achievement of the meal. If the turkey is prepared right, usually the meal goes off without a hitch. Yet turkey takes time to cook. This new generation is all about instantaneous results. With that mentality, some cornball decided to create “turkey in the can“. If you eat turkey from a can, it’s clear that your life is in shambles, and you need Jesus!
Don’t serve my turkey from a can, bruh! I’m serious!
Mac N Cheese
Next on the menu is without a doubt my favorite dish, and that is Macaroni and cheese. My mom would get fancy when she prepared her Mac n cheese and would layer it with multiple cheeses. The end result was pure heaven. To top it off, she let it sit in the oven until the edges was just a tad bit burnt. Burnt edges on the mac and cheese was the only way to cook it. But that brings us to the newer generation and everything having to be prompt. That bring us to Kraft easy mac. If your Mac n cheese was prepared from a bowl in the microwave, you are a terrorist and should not be trusted.
Burn the edges on my Mac and Cheese bruh! I’m serious!
Dressing has also been a favorite of mine over the years. If the dressing was cooked right, there were occasions when that was the only thing getting consumed at the dinner table, it was just that good. But this newer generation has decided to not only mess up the process of making the dressing, but even disrespect it by calling it “Stuffing“. We are not the same if your refer to your dressing as “Stuffing“. If we follow each other on twitter, considered yourself unfollowed. Yeah, I’m going to be that petty about it.
Don’t call my Dressing “Stuffing” bruh! I’m serious!
Serving yams on thanksgiving is mandatory. Ain’t nothing like some hot savory yams. For years I thought yams was one of those dishes that nobody in the family could mess up. Well that was until the newer generation came along. How dare you all make yams without marshmallows? I refuse to believe that a red-blooded american citizen would make yams without marshmallows. No way you can enter the pearly gates of Heaven if you prepare yams without the marshmallows.
Don’t give me yams without marshmallow bruh! I’m serious!
Greens are another dish that if prepared correctly can be tantalizing. When I was growing up, Greens were Greens. As a kid, I never knew the difference between the different types of greens. Better yet, it didn’t matter, because when grandma Nez cooked, greatness was all I tasted. This new generation got to be political correct and distinguish everything. I don’t care about a mustard greens or a collard greens or even turnip greens. A green is green , damn it. Don’t distinguish my greens!
Greens are Greens, damn it! I’m serious bruh!
My mother always told me if you have nothing nice to say, keep your mouth closed. Well when it comes to cranberry sauce, welp hopefully you get the point. Cranberry sauce is top 3 worse food ever, only behind candy corn and grits.
Don’t put cranberry sauce on my plate bruh! I’m serious!
Pecan (or Apple) Pie
When it comes to desserts, the pie category is usually on point. When pie is brought to the table, you can see the eyes light up with excitement. Whether its pecan or apple pie, you are guaranteed to leave satisfied. Yet somebody had to go and mess the pie category up. Whoever invented pumpkin pie, is not welcomed at my house hold. Nothing about pumpkin is good. I don’t want a pumpkin latte, pumpkin seeds, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin spice,etc…. Even if your nickname is Pumpkin, you are not welcomed at my residence on Thanksgiving.
Apple or Pecan pie only bruh, don’t give me pumpkin! I”m serious bruh!
Red Velvet Cake
Another desert that usually reigns supreme is the cake. But in case you didn’t know, there is only one type of cake. That is red velvet cake. Red velvet is the g.o.a.t. of all cakes. If your family serves you any other cake on thanksgiving besides red velvet, that is a sign that they don’t love you. Don’t debate me on this, just accept it.
Red velvet is the g.o.a.t. of all cakes bruh! I’m serious!
Last but not least, this is a warning. If you are serving chitterlings as part of your thanksgiving meal, I won’t show up if invited. Reason being, if you eat chitterlings, it’s clear that you are full of shit, and I wants no parts of those type of people.
Don’t try to serve me chitterlings bruh! I’m serious!